For shits and giggles I posted this question in a myspace bulletin to see what kind of reactions I would get. I do need to empty Lola's anal glands but I am going to get the vet to do it. Lola is a chihuahua and I'd probably end up hurting her.
Here are the responses I got:
From Molly Dean:
"oh TB. my parents have had a long line of dogs that needed anal draining. they could never bring themselves to do it, but the vet told them how.
1. do it outside
2. wear gloves and pull your sleeves up... maybe even no shirt would be better
3. insert finger (some lube might be a kind thing)
4. now, either at 10 or 2 o' clock, you're going to feel something that feels like a little berry... press it, squeeze it... whatever.
5. watch them juices fly
WARNING: some dogs have really thin runny secretions, we had a bulldog and her stuff came out like syrup... so nasty!
From Nicole Tinsley:
" My moms dog does this and yes that means that they need to be "emptied". She once attempted this on her own, and to save you a horribly gross story I will just say it is better left to the experts. I think it only costs around $10 at the vet that she takes her dog to. Good luck!!!!"
From Johnny Acid:
"Short answer: No.
I've heard you can do it externally, but that it doesn't empty them out completely, and that's why most people just take them to a Vet. Vets have no problem reaching their greedy little hands into your dog's anal cavity to excise butt juice.
Perhaps you should bite the bullet and take your pooch to a pro."
"Jesus Christ, Thommy, won't the vet do that for you?! Ew ew ew! Even chihuaha anal glands are too anal glandy for me."
From Big Jim:
"Any grooming place will do it cheap, but when was the last time you had em checked for worms?"
From Chandra Shanie:
"I haven't, but I have seen it done. You will smell the foulest of the foul while doing this. It is fucking gross! Get some rubber gloves and paper towels. Your vet will tell you how."
From Alisha Wheatley:
"Um, i take them to the vet for that. It's only $10. Sooo worth it. A groomer can do it, too."